Good Days Bad Days

Some days are good days and some days are bad days.  Yesterday was a bad day and today was a good day.  I am trying to eat healthy and take good care of myself...anything to lift me out of my funk.  I feel like have lost time.  I have so much to do, the guest room is a mess, I still have all the baby stuff sitting around the house as as a sad reminder that my sweet baby didn't come home with me but I have a hard time being at home alone.  At first  all I wanted to do was sit on my bed and lose myself searching for answers on the computer.  I guess I am just going through different phases of grief and healing.  The good news is their are rays of light but the fog is still there.  I will keep pushing through and hope that some sort of normal will return.  

Thank God for my son.  He is smiling bouncing breath of fresh air.  We are hoping for a new baby.  That baby will never replace my sweet baby girl we lost but could complete our family of 3 children.  We will love her forever.  She is there buried deep forever in the healing break in my heart.   I am so sorry that we along with others in our life didn't get to know her.  We will have to wait all of us until the day we meet again in heaven.  Until then I will carry on, try to make her proud.  I will try to be the best mom I can be for her, for my son and hopefully for another baby to come.