New Hope

A few weeks after we lost our sweet baby girl, Anna,our adoption attorney told us she had received a call from someone who maybe interested in us as adoptive parents for her child.  We struggled with what to do but knew we just weren't ready yet.  As hard as it was we had to pass.  We worried that we may not get this opportunity again anytime soon but felt that it would not be fair to the baby, to the birth family, to Anna or to us to move forward with a new situation right then.  We missed Anna so much we did not want another baby.  We wanted her, we still do but now feel we might have room in our home and our heart for a third baby.  

We feel ready to try again.  We will  trust in God's grace and timing.  This doesn't mean that the pain of losing Anna is gone.  It is still there and I believe always will be.  I must admit somehow I feel a pang of guilt at even the idea of adding another child to our family.  Anna is a part of our family and there is no other baby who can replace her.  I will love her for the rest of my life and look forward to being reunited with her in the next life. We had talked about having three children and now I think that may just happen.  I do believe that three might be the right number for us.   I have always liked the number three.  It reminds me of the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Ghost and both my husband I were born on the third of the month.  Three is a good number. I have no idea what will happen or when but I once again have a seed of hope in my heart.